In February, there’s such an emphasis on celebrating love. I know firsthand from years of being single and going on bad dates that it can be really hard if you haven’t found the one yet and really would like to. Obviously, the stereotype of single = miserable is completely untrue. I still had so many happy days while being single; still had so much love for myself, my friends, my family, my hobbies, my passion, and my life in general.
Your life is still so vibrant and beautiful and valid if you’re not in a serious relationship. A relationship does not determine any part of your worth, your attractiveness, or overall lovability.
However it is okay to know you’re amazing and worthy and lovable without a relationship and still want a relationship. I think for me that was a Catch 22 I got really caught up in. I realized I was embodying the “I’m a strong, independent women, I don’t need a relationship to validate my existence.” And because of that vibe, I was energetically blocking off receiving a relationship. The Universe always responds to your energy, and even though deep down I wanted my true love, the energy I was projecting was: “I don’t need anyone” so the Universe was like: “You got it!”
I looked to examples around me of finding strong, capable, intelligent, amazing women (I found examples in women I knew personally and women who were celebrities) that had true love and was able to realize that those women having true love didn’t make them any less of a strong, independent woman. They were still so powerful and amazing; their true love didn’t diminish or determine any of that. It was just an added bonus.
Clearing that limiting belief out was such a game-changer for me; it was like a weight off my shoulder.
So, first piece of love advice - while yes, having true love and being in a relationship doesn’t in any way determine your worth or happiness, it is absolutely okay to admit to wanting love! It’s okay to acknowledge that your life is great but you’d still love to have love. It doesn’t make you weak to want love; you’re not being a silly child to ask for love (bc society thinks it’d be more important to go for career or money instead) because having true love really can be such an added bonus to your life.
So, if you’ve been struggling to manifest love and really want love, here’s some great love advice for you!
I think so much of people’s inability to manifest love stems from needing to heal something within them. We all have different things within us that may be “blocking” us from believing we can have an amazing true love.
Most commonly, it’s because you were hurt in the past. Someone who didn’t deserve you and was most likely pretty horrible themselves, broke your heart and it dampened your spirits. You let it make you put up walls or push people away. You expected that all love ends in pain and because you believed that, you kept subconsciously manifesting more examples of that and in turn the universe showed you divorces, breakups, and more pain.
Another common thing is that you don’t love yourself enough. You see all the flaws in yourself, you constantly point them out, you feel insecure about your appearance or body (or both). You see yourself as not good enough, so why would anyone love you? There’s better options.
Another common “block”, could be from your parents. Either one parent was absent and the other talked smack about them, or they had a bad relationship, or they divorced, or one was terrible to you. Your parents are your first examples of love, so your brain absorbed their relationship and set it as a standard.
It also just could be that overtime, you gave into a societal limiting belief that love is not worth it. There’s so many self-deprecating memes about being single, unlovable, unworthy, and even more memes about love not working out, that you may have even absorbed that as your truth too.
No matter what it is, dig deep and try to figure out what negative beliefs have you been secretly harboring about love and try to figure out where they came from.
Once you’ve been able to identify where they came from, it’s that much easier to let them go. I heard this from Tony Robbins and it has always stuck out as one of the best pieces of advice: If a belief is not your original thought, why should it hold any power over you? It can’t! It’s not yours! So let it go!
Just as other people’s opinions of you can only hold as much power over you as you let them, the same goes for beliefs.
It’s time to cut the cords to that belief, and start anew.
You can work through with journaling or just deep meditation, to try to heal these beliefs and prove that they’re not true. Work to see that you are amazing and lovable. Give yourself compliments every time you look in the mirror; date yourself and love yourself. Look and see that not all relationships end in pain and breakups, reframe it to see that breakups are actually the Universe’s way of protecting you from someone who isn’t meant for you and moving you along to someone who is absolutely for your highest good! Have hope that one door closing, means another door is destined to open and this door will be soooo much better and you’ll be so grateful that every path led you there.
See that just because you had drama with your parents or your parents had drama within themselves, that’s not the gold standard nor does it have to be your repeated truth. Look to see other people’s parents who had lasting marriages, or who were kind and loving towards them. See that not all humans of one specific gender are the worst and the same; don’t let bad people ruin all people for you.
Seriously. Never, ever let someone who wasn’t good enough for you determine any part of your worth. While your feelings are always valid and you should always process them, don’t let someone bad make you question any part of yourself. Just because someone doesn’t love you doesn’t mean you’re unloveable or not an amazing, brilliant, wonderful, worthy, beautiful, fun, talented, human being. Someday, all the things the wrong person didn’t like about you, will be all the things the right person loves about you.
Heal all those inner wounds, and replace those beliefs with new empowering ones.
Start to affirm and embody that love always works out; that there’s so many great options to date; that you already met the love of your life; that just because it hasn’t worked out before, doesn’t mean it will always be that way; that just because others relationships failed doesn’t mean that yours will too. Know that it can and will all work out for you. Start believing in love again and believing that it’s possible for you!
Let go of worry because one day it’s all going to work out for you; and suddenly it’ll make sense why everything happened the way it did and when it did. Divine Timing is always at work in your love life.
Changing your mindset truly can change your life; especially in love.
So work on identifying what limiting beliefs you’ve been holding onto and repeating in your head. Work on healing them and releasing them and sending yourself lots of love. Then, choose new thoughts to support the love life you do want; put those new thoughts and repeat, and soon enough they’ll become your belief system. And of course, as you embody this new version of you, keep trusting in the timing; have infinite patience and know that your true love will come when they’re meant to come. The universe absolutely has your back, so in the meantime, just keep feeling grateful and live your best life.
If you want true love, you can absolutely have it. It’s absolutely possible for you! <3
