Thoughts on Love: Alignment is Key

When I was younger, I definitely thought romantic love was just about finding someone cute who you liked that also liked you, too.

But once I hit my late twenties, I realized that it’s so much more than just being attracted to and liking a person. It really is all about being in alignment with a person.

In hindsight, I recognize that people with whom relationships I once hoped would work out (or they hoped would work out with me) really would not have worked out at all. They definitely would not have been for my highest good nor I would have been for theirs.

In the moment it may be difficult to see because we do get “blinded” by love a bit but moreso, I think we get blinded by the hope of it all. We get blinded by the potential and the possibilities, we just want love to work out that we often neglect if it really should work out; if it working out is for both people's highest good. 

I think about how someone I once went on a few dates didn’t believe in psychics or magic, which is so integral to who I am. What was I thinking? I never could’ve been with someone who thinks my entire belief system is fake.

I've seen other post potential love interests posting pictures of so happily spending their day at a tailgate food truck festival with lots of different foods and beers before a football game, which is just so not me. Therefore, we wouldn’t have been able to experience a day that excites them and brings them so much joy together because to me that day sounds like a nightmare. Just the same, I’m sure my ideal day of getting dressed up and taking fabulous pictures in beautiful gardens or having tea at a classy, expensive place would not vibe with them at all. They'd be miserable doing that. 

After the fact, I've learned that others were so into hobbies like hunting or fishing and are now always going with their significant other, which I would never, everwant to take part in. Or they still go out drinking and smoking (which I’ve never done nor liked) or they moved to a state so far away from family and live with their three dogs (which I’m super allergic to). I've even seen on instagram a specific boy who always had a crush on me, that I just never felt right about, refer to his now wife as “the wifey” which I hate so much 😆. He also posts political views I don’t agree with and he never would’ve vibed with my frequent feminist rants that I need to get out of my system 😆.  Just the same I could NEVER be with someone who wasn't a progressive thinker.

Sure, in relationships you have your differences and that’s great, you even can introduce each other to new interests which is amazing. But ultimately you really want to be aligned in what you love to do, who you are at the core of your being, and most importantly your beliefs on life, your hopes, your dreams.

You want someone who could share your excitement over what excites you! Someone who has the same level of ambition and same views for what an amazing life would be. 

I see that the Universe actually always had my back and either ended the relationships after a few dates or ended them before things even got started, or had me trust my instincts to say no to a person who asked me out.

I see now that someone who enjoys doing activities I hate and hates doing activities I love, or doesn’t have big dreams and ambitions, who doesn’t believe in psychic things, doesn’t see the world as full of wonder, wants to just settle into suburban life with kids and dogs, or doesn’t view my idea of a perfect life the same at all - it never, ever would’ve worked out.

No matter how much we “liked” each other or found each other attractive, we just would’ve been out of alignment. It wouldn’t have been an easy relationship. There would have been so much uncomfortable compromise, it really would’ve made both of us not operate at our best.

For every potential love interest or crush, there was always someone better and more aligned for each of us.

I’m very sure just the same that in time they would have realized that I was nottheir aligned dream woman, either. Which is so very fine, really. And I think that’s something we all need to accept.

We so very often take romantic rejection so harshly because it feels so very personal. But in the end, it’s solely because it’s just not a match. And that doesn’t mean anything about you, it doesn’t mean anything about them. It just means that there’s better more aligned people out there for both of you.

Fate very well knows that and I truly, 100% believe that fate always intervenes to get you away from who is not right for you, and push you towards who is completely right for you.

Being in a relationship now for several years with the actual love of my life has opened my eyes to just how absolutely wrong everyone before him was for me. I can’t believe I ever once wanted to be with certain people who in truth really were so out of alignment with me.

Because in my relationship now, we both have the same view on life. We both know life is what you make it, we both believe in manifestation and that success is always possible. We both have nearly exactly similar political views and social views and financial views. He believes in all the psychic / spiritual stuff I hold so dear to my heart (and believed in them well before he met me!)

We both love being so fancy and going to classy events. We love learning about other cultures and discussing and viewing art. We would never want to go into the wilderness. Seriously camping or fishing is our absolute worst nightmare. Going to bars or really crowded drinking party places is also our idea of a bad time. We love travel and always long to be in Europe. 

We both don’t like eating most food others love and where others have deemed us “picky eaters” we both get each other and would never judge each other’s food choices because we both know how bad it feels when people have judged us in the past.

We’d both always rather be in Disney. We will forever love any Star Wars content and both teared up while making our light sabers at Galaxy’s Edge.

But most importantly, we both talk about our feelings. We communicate, we are never afraid to say things and we always work through things in order to be heard and understood. We also let the other person be heard and understood.

Sure, we have some differences, but ultimately our ideal life, our idea of a good time and a bad time, and the way we perceive this world we’re in, are such a match. We're truly aligned and that’s what makes our relationship easy and natural and feel so right.

I know a lot of people say relationships are constant hard work, but I think that’s a societal limiting belief. Personally being with the love of my life has been so incredibly easy. He’s my best friend. He was my best friend before romance between us was even a thing. We’ve had some disagreements, but they don’t last as we’re able to talk it out and work it out. Working it out has never been trying as we both come from a loving, compassionate, calm place. We don’t close ourselves off and we are always respectful.

We also always genuinely enjoy spending time together and never, ever are one of those people who are glad to be rid of their significant other for a while. Seriously when I hear people say that I'm like, so why are you even together? Why settle for that? You can have a magnetic true love!

Every year in my relationship, we fall more in love. Again, I think society has that limiting belief of “the honeymoon stage” and that love fades after the beginning, but remember life is what you make it. Both Justin and I refuse to believe that love fades, and I know for a fact that is why our love has gotten stronger. We have even more fun now than we did in the beginning.

If I was with someone who I liked but was out of alignment, it no doubt would be a really hard time. I know in some past romances trying to get someone to talk about their feelings was agonizing or impossible. Again, I see now that I’m the kind of person where I need to talk everything out. So, it never ever would’ve worked with someone who had trouble communicating because it would've frustrated me and closed me off to my highest potential in love. I always needed someone who was completely open, honest, and emotional.

It may have hurt in the moment when past relationships ended or potential love interest didn't work out, but I know now it was the Universe rearranging things, kicking certain people out of my life, putting distance and making it not work out … all so I could meet the person where it would all work out. Now, it all makes sense why everything happened the way it did. 

Rejection is always protection from what’s not for your highest good, and absolutely always re-direction to something (and someone!) so much better.

I look at some other successful relationships too and it’s truly funny how people always find their aligned match. I have a friend who her and her significant other love to do DIY and interior projects and they’re amazing at it, and it’s super cute that they both do it and genuinely enjoy it. Because I think to my own relationship, where we both would never want to do DYI or renovate a house, we’d so much rather someone else to do it. 🤣

I don’t think you have to compromise on the most important qualities you want in a person in a relationship. I think it’s great to set standards and wishes and know that there is absolutely your perfect person out there. Your perfect person is definitely hoping for all the things that YOU are, too so don't change yourself for anyone! 

I also think that’s why dating is good, because you learn what you don’t want. You also learn to trust your heart and your gut and to stand up for yourself and your dreams. It also allows you to exercise that divine faith in the Universe that by letting someone else go you’re showing you have complete faith that fate will bring you someone better, your dream partner! 

It reminds me of my absolute favorite song by Taylor Swift, “Invisible String.” She took on this concept from an Ancient Chinese thought that stated that we’re all connected to our true love by an invisible red string of fate. The string may stretch, may tangle, but it’ll never, ever break and it’ll always lead you to one another. This truly reminds us that what’s meant to be will always be.

In it Taylor sings: “A string that pulled me out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar” (where she met Joe!) and I firmly believe that’s so true. Like I said about myself earlier, the Universe truly does pull you out of all the wrong arms and directs you to right pair.

Remember, your mind is so powerful. You always receive what you believe. Don’t let societal limiting beliefs get you down or make you feel like love doesn’t last. I truly, always believed in finding a fairy tale love like no other and I did :)

So, if you’re reading this and single and trying to find love, keep it as a reminder that it truly isn’t just about attraction, it’s about alignment.

Don’t feel like you need someone. You are perfectly whole as is. A love should add value to your life not just be something to check off your life list. So don’t settle unless you feel 100% aligned to them.

I wish my younger self knew that it’s not about a cute face and making each other laugh, it’s about needing that deep connection, about understanding each other, speaking each other’s soul language.

Don’t ever let someone who doesn’t speak your soul language make you feel bad about who you are. There’s nothing wrong with you. Period. You are beautiful, unique, one of a kind, and what someone else feels about you says nothing about you. It’s all on them.

Again, it’s all about alignment. Don’t let yourself feel bad over someone who is not aligned with you. Keep being you and keep going. You should never ever stop until you find that alignment because there absolutely is someone out there who meets all your standards. They may have some differences, but ultimately they’ll have the same ideal, dream life as you - and they want to share every moment they can with you. <3