One thing that I’ve found really effects us, our mental health, and well-being is our relationships with others. If relationships are strained or break, it’s often really painful. We think about it non-stop, we relive fights and wish we had said something better. Then, we either wish the relationship with the person never existed and we harbor bad feelings towards them or we wish the relationship was better, healed, fixed.
Now, I don’t just mean romantic relationships, I also mean friendships, parental relationships, co-workers, any type of relationship possible.
Obviously, the best course of action is always talking to the person if you would still like them in your life.
However sometimes, especially with parents for example, it may be difficult to talk to the person with whom you need to heal because they are not the type of person to open up.
Or, it may be someone you definitely don’t want back in your life, a toxic friend or an ex-partner, but you’d still like to get closure, make amends, and let it go.
So, that’s why healing a relationship energetically comes really, incredibly in handy.
As you know, we’re all energy, so by cleansing and healing the energy between you, it actually will make the relationship more harmonious in real life.
I have three steps that I’ve used many, many times in my life to heal friendships that I wanted back, to heal friendships I didn’t want back, to get closure for romances I wanted to let go, and to heal a maternal relationship that I wanted to be more peaceful going forward.
It has always worked - but the key is, you have to believe it’ll work. Know that once you’ve done this work, the relationship is absolutely healed, and know that (if you still want this person in your life) the next time you interact with them, it’ll be an easier, more opening, warmer conversation. Expect it to work, expect them to have received the healing, expect the relationship to be mended so it shall!
So these three steps, you really can do them in any order that feels right to you, but I’m just going to list them in order I like doing it.
Step 1
-If this is someone you would like to maintain a positive relationship with: (a family member or friend you had a fight with for example, but for the most part the relationship has been healthy): Make a list of everything you like about them. Make a list of every reason you are grateful you have them in your life. Send them good vibes and good energy.
-If this is someone you would not like back in your life (a really toxic friend or an ex-boyfriend you know is not the one for example, etc): make a list of all the things you learned from this relationship. Find the purpose - even if it was just about learning what you didn’t want or how to stand up for yourself.
Step 2 - this is the big one!
Regardless if you want them in your life or not, this step can be executed the same way. This one is all about connecting to their higher self.
For those who don’t know, everyone here on this planet has a higher self. It’s really kind of like your soul. Your higher self is free from human attachment, jealousy, or any negative emotions. It really is just pure understanding love and light. It’s the best version of you possible.
So, to heal a relationship here on Earth, especially if you can’t speak to them in real life, we want to speak to their higher self, the most loving understanding version of them.
To do this, first surround yourself in a protective bubble of white light. Declare you’ll only interact with spirit of the highest level of light and love. Then, you’ll go into mediation (play some calming music, imagine yourself going deeper), and when you have that heavy feeling of being deeply connected… call upon that person’s higher self and *this is super important!* ask if you have permission to speak to their higher self.
You must ask for permission!
Wait until you hear a “Yes” and then proceed.
You usually will hear a yes, but if for some reason you hear a no, just disconnect and try another time. The timing may not be right, but don’t give up. You can try again.
Once you’ve gotten your “Yes”, understand that you are connected to them.
For validation that it’s really them, like you would do in mediumship, ask their higher self to send you an example of a shared memory you have forgotten. Wait until something pops into your head.
(Breaking this up to tell you the craziest personal story. I did this many, many years ago to gain closure with a boyfriend from high school. I didn’t want him back in my life, but I felt I needed to fully heal the relationship because how it ended never sat right with me. I also heard troubling news about him, and he’s not on social media, so I guess I wanted to make sure he was okay, too. Anyway, I connected and asked for a shared memory. A specific memory about going to Burger King faintly popped into my mind, I only vaguely remembered it, but I proceeded anyway. When I was done with the healing, and ended the conversation, afterwards I felt a pull to look in one of my old diaries. I reached out to a specific one (I had a bunch from over the years) and as I did it fell open to a page. That page just happened to be about the Burger King memory. YEAH seriously!!!!! I remember instantly getting chills, as it having validated my entire conversation and experience. Some things you really just can’t make up!)
So yes, once you’ve gotten your validating fact… continue in your head having a conversation with them. Say everything you need to say, let it all out, and wait for responses. I promise you’ll hear something back … and I promise you’re not making it up (this is why you ask for the validating memory to prove it’s really their higher self!)
Now, yes, this may absolutely be a slightly more advanced skill and take practice on a deeper level. At the time I first learned and tried this new skill, I personally had been regularly communicating with angels and spirit on the side for years.
So yes, it may not be super easy to a beginner, but you have to start somewhere! The more you try, the more you open yourself up to communicating with spirit, the easier it’ll be. We all have these abilities, so don’t shut yourself off to them! It’s possible for you!
Try meditating more, practice first maybe asking your spirit guides or angels to communicate with you. And then when you’re ready, you can move onto higher-self’s!
Another way to make a bit easier, is to do it via automatic writing. Once you’ve mediated and asked for a shared memory, get out your notebook, and write down what you want to say to them. Or ask them a question! And then, wait for a response back and just start writing. Write whatever pops into your head (Something will!) no matter how ridiculous it may seem, just keep keep writing, and know that it’s absolutely them writing the message through you.
When you’re done, thank them for speaking with you. (You can keep speaking until the relationship feels better, has gained closure, or feels healed), and send them love and light. Then declare you disconnect from their energy.
Above all, just know you can do it! You absolutely have this skill! And if its a struggle, like I said, keep practicing meditating and reaching out, and you’ll absolutely get to a point where this will seem very natural, comfortable and easy for you!
Step 3
This one too works regardless if you want them in your life or not, it’s all about Forgiveness. Specifically, forgiveness through a beautiful Hawaiian practice, Ho’oponopono.
This practice is super easy and super, super effective.
It’s just you focusing on the person, and then repeating: “I’m sorry. I thank you. Please forgive me. I love you.” Or alternatively, I’ve seen it as “I’m sorry. I thank you. I forgive you. I love you.” So, I Think say it whichever way feels good to you.
I’ve used it as both, and in different situations, the “Please forgive me” has felt better, and other times “I forgive you” has felt better. Personally, “forgive me” feels better when it’s someone I still want in my life, and “I forgive you” feels better when it’s someone I don’t want in my life.
Either way, say this and repeat it until you energetically feel lighter. Seriously, the more you say it, you’ll start to feel a clear, healing light radiating from your heart. You’ll know when you’ve said it enough times.
So, when you’re done with all of these feel it. Know and expect that your relationship is magically, energetically healed. If it’s someone you have to interact with, again, know next time you see them they are going to be warmer, lighter, and friendlier to you. You’ll definitely see signs that they are open to mending the relationship as well.
Energetic healing really does wonders. Obviously, talking is amazing, but healing your relationship on an energetic level can be fantastically helpful in bringing harmony back into your life. <3
