One of my biggest and best life transformations was in my love life!
I was always someone who wanted a grand, big movie-esq love story, but instead, I just spent a decade being disappointed.
From teenager to mid-twenties, no “romance” ever lasted more than a couple dates - either because they didn’t like me or I just felt in my heart they weren’t right - which sometimes, led my younger self to think maybe something was wrong with me.
But nothing was wrong with me. It was never about me. A lesson I clearly understand now is that if someone doesn’t like you, it’s on them, it’s their preference & perceived view of reality, and has nothing to do with you. Plus, we’re not meant to be liked by everyone. Imagine, what would happen if that were the case - then wouldn’t everyone be in love with everyone?
People not liking you romantically very often works in your favor.
In hindsight now, I realized all those disappointments, them not liking me, or me not liking them, happened for a reason - because none of those people were my person. I was never supposed to be with any of them. I was just supposed to learn lessons from them. Everyone in your life you learn a lesson from. Plus, it helped me realize what I didn’t want it love. It helped me learn to stand up for myself and to not tolerate being treated certain ways (like not being texted back & being ignored for several days). It also helped me realize to not settle.
I always held onto this idea that it didn’t work out with those other boys, because it was only ever meant to work out with the one
My younger self thought that love was just about being attracted to someone. But the older I got, I realized it was more than that. Yes, you want to be attracted to them, but you also need to be in alignment with them. You need to be aligned in your goals, your hopes, your dreams. You need your lifestyles and communication styles and love language to be aligned in order for there to be harmony.
I personally never used the dating apps. Nothing against them if you do, but I, myself, always loved the romanticized idea that in divine timing the universe would put you and your perfect person in the same place at the same time. One day they wouldn’t be in your life. Then, at one moment, you’d just meet and your life would never be the same.
Maybe you wouldn’t even realized it was them at first, and it’d be fun to look back on. Maybe you would realize instantly. I just loved the idea of the universe creating a love story. So, I always let it.
I’d let people pop into my life, but as I said, most of them were never right. But I did learn so many lessons. Plus, some of them being so bad is actually what pushed me to make changes. After two particularly bad romances back to back, I had my enough is enough moment. I was so sick of love not working out.
I knew about manifestion. I could do something about this! I couldn’t find much text or help about manifesting love, so I developed a lot of my own methods based around what I knew about manifesting in general.
I dug deep and began to analyze my limiting beliefs.
Our subconscious beliefs (aka the story we’ve been telling ourselves on repeat for a long time) really control most of our energy & the manifestation process.
So, you could be consciously hoping for love - but if your subconscious beliefs are riddled with “dating is the worst” “it’s hard to meet someone” “i only attract weirdos” - then those thoughts are going to outweigh your conscious ones & bring you more of that!
You have to get both your conscious beliefs + subconscious beliefs in alignment in order to manifest it! & you do that by rewriting your beliefs, actively choosing to think better thoughts on repeat, refusing to accept your old story!
I realized I kept holding onto the beliefs that “It’s so hard to meet anyone good.” Plus, I realized I was harboring a feeling of being conflicted about wanting love. There’s so much talk about being a strong, independent feminist woman that I realized admitting I wanted a man, that I wanted love, made me feel so guilty. Like If I wanted love, it made me a weak, silly, un-feministic woman. That I should be manifesting a career instead of love.
That was a huge one for me. I was able to re-write that belief by realizing there were plenty of strong, feministic, empowered independent woman who had love. I found examples in my personal life and within the celebrity world and was able to prove that belief wrong. I reframed it to “I can be a strong, powerful woman and still have love.”
I rewrote my beliefs, adamantly affirmed & embodied the version of me who had true love on a daily basis.
I’d feel it daily, I’d visualize and pretend. I forgave all my ex’s, acknowledge what lessons I learned from them, and wished them all well (no matter how much they were the worst, I still wished they’d find their own true love and was grateful it wasn’t me.)
Above all, I accepted that if the universe actually wanted me to be alone forever, I’d still be able to find happiness.
I completely transformed my mindset around love. I had my subconscious beliefs & conscious beliefs all in sync. I believed it was coming, but I also let go, I trusted divine timing, I trusted the process, and stopped worrying.
Because, you see, if we have what we want, we wouldn’t be worrying about it coming, right?
The universe only operates in the NOW. So a big trick is to act like it’s already done. My thought process was - if I was already with my true love, would I be worrying about him coming along? No. I’d be calm, confident, and happy. So that’s what I embodied!
& to be honest it really wasn’t long after doing all of that, that I met & fell in love with my co-worker turned best friend. Like I always dreamed, the universe put us in the same place at the same time. I didn’t realized it was him right away, though I did always think he was cute and nice and wanted to be friends with him. We had a fabulous foundation of friendship, geniunely turning into best friends, and along the way, falling in love.
and we’ve been happily together for over three years now! & it’s better than I imagined 😊️
We truly are in alignment with our life goals, life values, and lifestyle. It’s the love story I always wanted. And I know it’s no coincidence that it all happened because I changed my mindset.
I’m glad we didn’t meet earlier, because my mindset wouldn’t have been as strong as it was. We truly met in the perfect, divine timing.
So, overall, True love IS possible for you! Just check out your limiting beliefs, visualize/believe, and above all have patience & trust in the divine timing of it all! It can happen it can happen it can happen!!!
I hope this inspired you & helped you believe in love a little bit more today!
